"Ham for the Holidays" SONG DESCRIPTION Prepebescent turkey, "Tommy," plots to escape the fate of his ancestors by convincing the world to eat ham for the holidays! He battles with the bullying pig in the next pen over who makes a better meal ... and wins. "Sure pigs are cleaner, and they're smarter, but juicier for roasting, turkey's dry!" This endearing character will have you laughing from verse 1 ... and not feeling the *least* bit sorry for the pig! *smile* Lynn Julian, was commissioned by the "Trouble With Turkey" coalition to compose the themesong for their latest campaign. Their spokesperson is Tommy, a ten year old turkey, who is trying to educate humans about alternatives to their typical holiday feast this season: HIM. The focal point of the awareness campaign is HAM: it’s juicier for roasting, turkey’s dry. They hope Julian's theme song, "Ham For The Holidays," will help folks remember this fact. Dr. Demento loved the tune so much he brought international attention to the song when he played it 2 weeks in a row during the 2004 holiday season. This was a tremendous honor, as Julian's indie song was played between big name artists Adam Sandler and Arlo Guthrie. Julian recently also received international recognition when her song won Honors in this years' Great American Song Contest. SIMILAR ARTISTS: WEIRD AL YANKOVIC, ADAM SANDLER, FRANK ZAPPA Want more "Guitar Rock with GIRL POWER?" Go to: Http://www.LynnJulian.com or Http://www.CookieCutterGirl.com TODAY! ### "HAM For The HOLIDAYS" Frosty morning sunrise, leaves are gonna' fall. Holidays are coming ... This turkey's feeling small ... VERSE My mother told the story of how Grandma was whacked. She crept into the kitchen and saw her on a rack. Feathers plucked, all full of stuff, she was lying in the buff. Worst of all, no head was looking back! CHORUS Why can't everyone have ham for the holidays? Why can't everyone have pork with their pies? I guess I'll never know. I guess I'll never grow. Guess I should learn how to fly... VERSE II I wake up to the laughter from the old pig pen. He knows it's me they're after. He's teasing me again! Isn't PORK "The *other* white meat?," I recall ... Now the pig is silent in his stall! I've heard that there's savior in religion. In India, the cow's a sacred beast. But my faith is low ... feelin' fat ... look silly in this pilgrim hat. No Hindu's gonna' save me from this feast! CHORUS BRIDGE Why can't life be like "A Christmas Story?" I'd sing "Fa Ra Ra Ra Ra" and be in luck! Then, I'd only model for the pictures and they would all be drooling at the duck! VERSE III But life is never just like in the movies. I've been gettting overfed for days. I'm plucking out my feathers in a frenzy ... Why is it Jews don't eat pork anyway? Last night the barn fell silent. I've wondered what was wrong. Just like my Mom before me, I'll sneek into their home. Feathers shakin', chance is taken. Why do I think I smell bacon? Oh my God, the pig is in the stove! CHORUS Why can't everyone have ham for the holidays? Why can't everyone have pork with their pies? Sure pigs are cleaner and they're smarter, but juicier for roasting, turkey's dry! At least this much I know, I guess this year, I'll grow. Next year, I'll learn how to fly... Lynn Julian, ASCAP, Cookie Cutter Publishing CookieCutterGirl.com

FRUITCAKE
If Farts Were Made Out of Superball Stuff
GET THE PICTURE
PAIN
JENNY
HAM FOR THE HOLIDAYS!


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